"Captain Improper Comma Use" and "Blatant Run-On Sentence Boy"

So this blog stems out of a conversation with my good buddy CZ (the Master of Master Control to the left there). Now, I'll refrain from mocking his silly wrestling fantasies. Oops, just did. Regardless, a subject came up that I've devoted a couple of brain cells to from time to time.

Why English should be the Official Language of the United States:
It all boils down to one simple fact. Communication. When two people are communicating (and trust me, I've heard a lot about this subject this semester), in the model I like the most, one person is an encoder and the other a decoder with the message running between them. Now, the message is independent, in that by logical extension "I'm hungry" means the same thing in French, German, English, and Mandarin Chinese. However, by being an English speaker, I encode that to: "I'm hungry," which requires an English decoder to understand. I could grunt and gesture to my mouth, but I'm doing it improperly to a girl, I might get slapped upside the face. Now, think of the scenarios that play out across America every day. Imagine an industrial example where large machinery is moving and you're required to stay behind the red line. Cross the red line and bye-bye feet (if you're lucky). The sign clearly says "Danger - Stay Behind Red Line," which does a fat lot of good to a native Mandarin Chinese speaker such as myself.

Now, to debunk the counterpoints: People don't understand English now (non-native speakers).
1) Welcome to America, learn our language. The Constitution was written in English (and they didn't bother to translate it when they wrote it). Now, let me say flat out, I'm not saying that we should never publish government documents in alternative languages. In fact, alternative languages should ALWAYS be available, especially in this electronic age. However, the primary print language should be english in America. If you want to look up the minutes of your state legislature - english. All the information on your driver's license - english. Now a translation should be available, but not in the same document! (200 page one language document vs. 400 page two language document). Government business should be conducted in english. When you walk into a city hall, you should be able to understand what issues are being debated.

2) English as a Second Language (ESL) classes should be mandatory and free. Now, I may catch some flak for the mandatory idea, but it again goes back to communication. By requiring a standard of communication, everyone will be able to communicate at least on some basic level, with the hope that it would allow better understanding across the board. I'd would prefer if someone could say "Please don't hurt me," to the police as opposed to spouting off what amounts to foreign gibberish to the police officer's ears. This would also allow teachers at school to teach in one language, allowing a greater depth of subjects instead of dividing the day between english and other languages. Now, this could lead into a whole other rant on why the school systems need repair, but that's another day. Did I mention free? Most immigrants, in my understanding, don't have the money for expensive classes. Now, I'm not opposed to immigration, and I think an educated workforce, or at least a workforce capable of communication is far superior than any alternative.

There you have it. This blog is in English, and our government should be too.

Comment, I dare you. (Be warned, all comments will be graded on clarity and grammar.)

What? On a Wednesday?

So, am I the only one who overhears parts of conversations and wonders what the rest of the converstation must have sounded like? I admit, that's somewhat the source of my "out of context quote of the day," which unfortunately is not as daily as I might like. If it were, I'd probably have to publish it to the blog regularly. Regardless, I overheard a conversation the other day as I was leaving the library and it struck me as funny and odd:

Boy: Is she good looking?
Girl: Well, she's got big boobs.

As I said, I have no idea what they were talking about, and I had to get to class. Not that I would have stopped anyways. It just struck me as a weird answer to the question. I mean, I'm first in line to admit that I like a nice pair of breasts. I should be happy that my wife doesn't read this blog as often as she maybe should, but I've been caught looking around campus. But that's not the end-all for good looks to me. It's part of a package. If the girl's rail thin and has ginormous breasts that cause her to tip forward when standing, not so attractive. Well-proportioned females, I don't think that's to hard to ask for. But back to the conversation at hand, apparently this girl thought her (let's assume) friend's large breasts were enough to make her attractive to this guy. Doesn't that kind of assume that all guys care about are breasts? I know so many guys who were like, "You know, I really liked that girl, but my hands were bigger than her breasts and it just didn't work out." Yeah, that's a deal-breaker all right . I suppose another extreme could exist. Same guy: "I was going to kiss her stomach and her breasts got in the way." And on a side note, real breasts are ALWAYS better.

I think that's enough. All because of two lines overheard in the library. Send your hate mail to the random people who I don't know in the library.

You know, I had a funny title. But then I went to class and forgot it. I'm so sorry.

Well, first off, let me congratulate my counterparts on UPDATING THEIR BLOGS. Seriously, guys, you know I love ya. Classes are proceeding as planned. Bwa-ha-ha-ha. Wait, that's not what I meant. This semester seems to be carrying on rather faster than the last semesters. I don't know if that's thanks to the workload or what.

On related news, I'm going to Ames this semester. I know, I've promised it in the past and haven't delivered. But damnit (we have money now and can travel a little more freely) and my friends need a visit! (If I could go to Alaska, I'd to that too. Related to that, I saw a car with Alaska plates yesterday. I thought you'd care.)

Wackyland update: The cats are getting along as best as two cats do. Okay, Cadet hisses still at Nova, and is mad that she gets on the bed when he's cuddled up with me. Nova has been eating his food, which she's not supposed to, so I'm getting pretty good at shooting her with the spray bottle. But they actually seem to be playing, although Nova harasses Cadet more than anything else, and the big chicken runs. Yeah, that movie Chicken Run - named for my cat.

I think I've bored you all enough. More next week. Same bat-time, same bat-blog. (Do you think batman would have a bat-blog on his bat-computer in the batcave?)

The truth? You can't man-handle the truth!

So, after spending a weekend tending for my wife's heroic battle against strep throat (for the record, she won and is now level 4), I continue on in my quest to take over the world. Or more accurately continue on my quest to get good grades this semester.

If you haven't heard yet, our family is now 1 bigger. Kim (finally) got her kitten. The cat decided that her name should be Nova. That's what she responds best to. Of course, there's all sorts of jokes as to why. She's a super cat (get it, supernova?), she likes to be the center of attention (like a star), she means no-go in latin america (see also: Chevy Nova). Honestly, she's just a little ball of fire (maybe too much so), but what do you expect from a baby kitten.

For those who are wondering (all two of you) Cadet seems to be doing all right with the addition. We're taking our time introducing them, and Cadet goes through phases, but overall he seems to be doing rather well. The two haven't been allowed to play yet, but all in good time.

Hope you enjoyed this witless prattle. More next week.

Now twice as furry

So, getting into the ho-hums of the semester. Work, followed by more work, and guess what I have to look forward to next semester. The more I think about it, the happier I'll be when I finally have a system at home that I can do editing/experimenting on. The stuff here at school is SO limiting. Ah, well, I've been informed that art thrives on restriction. We'll see.

On a continuing to corrupt my wife note, I sat down with her and watched Star Trek VI last weekend (or as she calls it, the one with the Klingons). Surprise, she ACTUALLY liked it. Of course she was watching it as a movie, not as a Star Trek movie... and I was there to answer questions as they came up. I try to helpful from time to time.

Hope the rest of you are enjoying the new year.