"Captain Improper Comma Use" and "Blatant Run-On Sentence Boy"

So this blog stems out of a conversation with my good buddy CZ (the Master of Master Control to the left there). Now, I'll refrain from mocking his silly wrestling fantasies. Oops, just did. Regardless, a subject came up that I've devoted a couple of brain cells to from time to time.

Why English should be the Official Language of the United States:
It all boils down to one simple fact. Communication. When two people are communicating (and trust me, I've heard a lot about this subject this semester), in the model I like the most, one person is an encoder and the other a decoder with the message running between them. Now, the message is independent, in that by logical extension "I'm hungry" means the same thing in French, German, English, and Mandarin Chinese. However, by being an English speaker, I encode that to: "I'm hungry," which requires an English decoder to understand. I could grunt and gesture to my mouth, but I'm doing it improperly to a girl, I might get slapped upside the face. Now, think of the scenarios that play out across America every day. Imagine an industrial example where large machinery is moving and you're required to stay behind the red line. Cross the red line and bye-bye feet (if you're lucky). The sign clearly says "Danger - Stay Behind Red Line," which does a fat lot of good to a native Mandarin Chinese speaker such as myself.

Now, to debunk the counterpoints: People don't understand English now (non-native speakers).
1) Welcome to America, learn our language. The Constitution was written in English (and they didn't bother to translate it when they wrote it). Now, let me say flat out, I'm not saying that we should never publish government documents in alternative languages. In fact, alternative languages should ALWAYS be available, especially in this electronic age. However, the primary print language should be english in America. If you want to look up the minutes of your state legislature - english. All the information on your driver's license - english. Now a translation should be available, but not in the same document! (200 page one language document vs. 400 page two language document). Government business should be conducted in english. When you walk into a city hall, you should be able to understand what issues are being debated.

2) English as a Second Language (ESL) classes should be mandatory and free. Now, I may catch some flak for the mandatory idea, but it again goes back to communication. By requiring a standard of communication, everyone will be able to communicate at least on some basic level, with the hope that it would allow better understanding across the board. I'd would prefer if someone could say "Please don't hurt me," to the police as opposed to spouting off what amounts to foreign gibberish to the police officer's ears. This would also allow teachers at school to teach in one language, allowing a greater depth of subjects instead of dividing the day between english and other languages. Now, this could lead into a whole other rant on why the school systems need repair, but that's another day. Did I mention free? Most immigrants, in my understanding, don't have the money for expensive classes. Now, I'm not opposed to immigration, and I think an educated workforce, or at least a workforce capable of communication is far superior than any alternative.

There you have it. This blog is in English, and our government should be too.

Comment, I dare you. (Be warned, all comments will be graded on clarity and grammar.)